Boundaries


As of May 11th we are officially out of the Covid pandemic but that does not mean we are not still feeling the effects of it. One of the biggest changes I have seen in people, especially our teens is that they have difficulty building relationships. Part of this is due to the fact that they were in front of a screen all day in so many of their classes during this pandemic and they did not get the practice of  face to face verbal communication. We are so reliant upon technology to do business every day that we often forget how to talk to one another. If you are 30+ years old then you had the opportunity to grow up without electronics everywhere for a portion of your life but if you are were born in the 2000’s then you had access to electronics as soon as you were born. It was up to your parents to set the boundaries around technology. As a parent of teenagers I can tell you first hand that it is a full time job to manage your kids electronics in a responsible manner. It is very easy to use electronics as a baby sitter but that is not serving the child or the parents long term.

Setting boundaries around electronics use is obvious such as time spent in front of a screen and also the type of technology such as tv, social media, gaming, etc. There are many other types of boundaries that also have an effect on your life such as boundaries around :

  1. Me time aka personal time
  2. Volunteering
  3. Family time
  4. Access to your personal time when not at work
  5. Finances especially when it comes to family and kids
  6. Work time

Each person has to determine their own boundaries to understand the correct balance for them. Having boundaries is not the same as saying NO. An example may be when you kids ask for $20 for gas. Instead of just giving them the $20 have a chore list with designated dollar amounts so they can earn the $20 or you may find yourself as an ATM machine to your full capable teenagers. This also applies to couples where one of the spouses may be the support person at home. If the stay at home spouses drops everything when their partner asks for a favor then that is the expectation moving forward. Communication goes a long way in situations such as this so both parties involved understand each person’s views.